Follow up to "Everybody Poops?"

My brother sent me this website today and because I found it hysterical I had to share!

The Official Better Marriage Blanket

Because I'm not married this really doesn't help me out; I have no one to hide my farts from. I'd love to see how $29.99 could possibly save your marriage!

Everyone Poops?

Most people in my life know I do not shy away from most taboo subjects. As I'm sure you have already assumed, today's subject is poop. For Christmas a few years back my brother bought me the book Everybody Poops, by Taro Gomi, and yes I was an adult when said book was received. As I have gotten older I have accepted the fact that even though most would prefer to not discuss or acknowledge certain "things", plain and simple, we all do it, and there is nothing we can do to make it go away (although I'm sure some day there will be a magic pill for that too).

So what brings about my post of the day? There have been several occasions where I have been in the restroom at work (maybe pooping?) and I've heard the door to the bathroom open, someone come in, turn around and walk out. Now, you were not in there long enough to check for boogers (I didn't hear you blow your nose), wash your hands (didn't hear the sink), or probably even check your hair. I looked under the stall, I saw your feet; you walked in, saw someone was in there and turned around and walked out. You had to poop and didn't want company. Now if you have explosive diarrhea, I thank you for sparing me, but really what are you going to do? Walk around to all the bathrooms hoping to find an empty one (and hoping it stays empty)? Just come in and let it go. 

I have to interject here quick about those who do come in and "play around" waiting for the rest room to empty. "Play around" usually involved blowing your nose to cover the sound.

For the sake of this post, let's just say we are discussing the pooping at work. Here are some thoughts as to why you should savor the moment and not run from it:

• You are getting paid to sit on the toilet!
• You don't have to clean the toilet (usually, but please flush!)
• You can use unlimited amounts to TP because you don't have to pay for it!
• It's a great excuse to walk away from your desk for 5 to 10 minutes

Yes pooping can be embarrassing, but I hope I have brightened your day a little with my post and enlightened you a bit - now go poop it out!

 

This one time...

Let me premise this post with, I know I talk a lot, I like to talk, I seem to have a story for everything, and yes it even bugs me sometimes. With all my talk talk, I do listen! Actually I like to believe that I'm a good listener, and I retain what's been told to me (you never know when you might be quizzed or it comes back and bites you in the ass!). 

There are times when I have a funny story, anecdote, or just had a bad day and I need to vent. If that's the case; do NOT interrupt me! Usually, (for the most part) I just want 5 minutes of "me" time, where the spotlight gets to be on me. I'm not sure where it stems from (the "me" time), but it really irritates me when I'm interrupted. It makes one feel like their not important. Most times when the other party is done talking and say "oh go on" I've either forgotten my story, or I refuse to tell it as I know I'll just be interrupted again.

Maybe this is why I got a dog; although you know what, he interrupts me too (or walks away, which let's face it, that's worse)! I guess sometimes you just can't win!

We will be right back with our scheduled programming...

I know, I know the Blog is called "Life's Minor Annoyances" and I'm supposed to "vent" my frustrations, but I thought I would change it up on this post and give a shout out or rave (I'll be sure to include an annoyance as well).

Many of you know I can be rather obsessive about my beauty routine. When I find something I like I usually stick to it, although I'm not opposed to trying that new "miracle" product (more to come on that later). I was at the saloon a couple months back for a hair cut and while I was waiting I noticed a new line of product. What caught my eye was "Free Yourself of Harmful Chemicals" on a hair product. Although I'd been happy with my shampoo, I do have rather unruly hair and anything that help I'm all for it, so I went home and did some research on the product.

What I found was a product called Onesta, which is actually made here locally in the Twin Cities. Their products are plant based and free from parabens, sodium lauryl sulfate, DEA, TEA, colors, etc. I found it on Amazon.com and bought the shampoo only. The first time I washed my hair, needless to say I was AMAZED. I didn't even need to use conditioner, my hair was silky, clean, and had tons of body. Of course I ordered the conditioner and it has been true love ever since. 

Another bonus is Onesta's commitment to sustainable living. 100% of their energy consumption is offset by wind power, their product is 100% recycled plastic or PCR (post consumer resin) and amongst other bonuses they are organic and vegan! I'm leaving even less of my carbon footprint by using their product that are biodegradable and environmentally safe!

Now for my "annoyance". I recently tried another hair product - WEN. I'd like to say don't waste your money, but what doesn't work for some works for others. It is basically a shampoo and conditioner in one, but it doesn't lather. I tried it for 2 weeks, and even though my hair was nice and smooth, it was so heavy, weighed down, and just looked greasy. I know a couple people who like it, and I loved the deep conditioner, but it just wasn't for me.

Thank you all for the break in our annoyances, I will be sure to follow this up immediately with a gripe!

                                   

Hooked on phonics worked for me!

Sorry all, life gets away from you sometimes, and well I just haven't felt like posting.

I'm constantly scanning the free section on Craiglist and I spotted today something that drives me insane....spelling errors. Now I realize, especially posting in the free section, that correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation is not a priority, but come on people; as an adult you should know the difference between etc. and ect.

ECT is WRONG! As I am typing this, Firefox has the word underlined in red pointing out that it is incorrectly spelled.

Now, with all of this said, I am the first to admit that I have been known to have spelling/grammar/punctuation fails of my own, but, well, this blog is about my gripes and this is mine today.

I said good day!

Beep beep, here I come!

I'm sure many of you have your two cents about other drivers. Regardless of how well others drive around you, they still piss you off.

Now I may not be the best driver in the world, but there are two things that drive my crazy:

1. Excessive use of the horn. The second I hear a horn I freak out thinking, "Oh my goodness, what's wrong? Is my car this or that?" Usually said horn blower is just pissed that I'm driving too slow, in "his/her" lane, or like those who like the sound of their own voice, probably just likes the sound of their horn and being in control. I usually jump out of my skin when I hear a horn, and one of these days I'm going to swerve and possibly hit the horn blower. Use your horn wisely folks!

2. I'm too cool for my signal. Seriously?! You don't see this as a problem? I can usually tell when a vehicle near me needs to change lanes. You can see them looking over, speeding up, slowing down, etc. I try to accommodate as best as I can so they can get over, but I am only going to give you a certain window of time. If I am slowing down traffic behind me and you haven't made your move I'm going to get back up to speed and you can come in behind me. My favorite is those who think that no one is giving them this window of time, get pissed and just swerve over. No signal, no warning; BAM they're in your lane and you have to hit your brakes to avoid rear ending them. They then look at you like this was your fault.

For those of you who drive in this manner, warn me when you are out on the roads and I will do my best to avoid you. Yes this probably makes me an aggressive driver, but I also usually get to my destination in 1 piece and others on the road know what I'm doing.

Here's hoping you all get to where you need to safe and sound!

 

What; were you born in a barn?

Owning a house has really changed my perspective on many things. Things I've always taken for granted and never thought of while renting. For example, water. My bathroom sink will drip if you don't turn off the facet just right, and I try to avoid doing small loads of laundry. I'm more aware when I tend to leave doors open, even if for just a second, and I recently had a thermostat installed that runs on a pre-set schedule to help keep heat costs down.

One thing that has always bothered me; as a homeowner or renter, is leaving lights on in a room you are done in. Now let me also state that with respects to this topic I am slightly hypocritical as I still have a hard time sleeping at night without my TV on as a nightlight, and I have been known to turn my bedside light on so I do not have to walk into a dark room when I go to bed. 

I was in Girl Scouts when I was a little girl, and I remember we were given a list of things, that if completed we received a badge. One of them was "turn off lights in a room that is no longer in use". So with that said, I blame Girl Scouts for my incessant need to constantly turn off lights; maybe even if someone is still in that room.

Seriously? Back off!

I'm a huge fan of the personal bubble. Unless you have been welcomed into said bubble, I expect you to stand back. I had the pleasure of an older woman (I would guess early 80's) invade my personal bubble yesterday while at the grocery store.

I was next in line to use the self checkout. While scanning my items the woman came up right behind me indicating that she wanted to use the lane next. Self checkouts work a little differently. You wait outside the rope and the next available register (of 4) is yours for the taking. So she not only jumped in front of a couple other people in line, she was literally on my heels. I could feel her breath on the back of my neck.

My first reaction is to turn around and give her a nasty look. Didn't work. So then I take a step back; onto her, "Pardon me", I say, "You're kinda in my way". Still nothing, she rocked back and forth with me while I stepped forward and back. Finally I gave the employee (the one who oversees the self checkout lanes) a look and she came to my rescue pointing out where the end of the line is and that she would have to back off and leave me alone. Her response was "Oh, well I wanted to see how this works".

By now I was done and well, the woman was older and this is just not a fight worth picking. I promptly went home, jumped in the shower, and washed her old lady* breath off my neck.

*Please note that I have NOTHING against "old people". The term in this blog was used primarily for laughter's sake; that and she was old.

Talking on the phone

Hands down, this is one of my least favorite things to do in the world. Even though it's easier to detect someone's tone or inflection in their voice, as well as easier to get yours across versus email; there is still something so impersonal about "chatting" over the phone.

A big part of my job is to make and receive phone calls from clients to assist them. Now I'm not saying that I'm not good or awkward on the phone, rather, I think I have a very pleasant phone voice. But remember, I'm getting paid to do this, I really do like my job, what I do and helping others. Saying this, my co-workers can confirm there are times I've gotten off the phone and have complained about my conversation (ignoring my actual language or verbiage here).

When it comes to personal phone calls with friends, family or personal business; I would rather converse via email. Ordering pizza online was, in my opinion, the greatest idea EVER! I get nervous on the phone, lose confidence, and silence is a lot different in person than it is on the phone. If we are going to sit and not talk, then why are we on the phone? Instant messaging is another creation I am in love with. I have something to say, I say it and when I'm out of things to say, I walk away.

So that's it in an extended nutshell; I dislike chatting on the phone. Don't get me started on voicemail!

And we begin...

I Googled "Pet Peeve" and found 100's of responses of websites, blogs, etc. So what makes my blog different than any of the others? Well me of course.

I am your typical 30 something female, or am I?

Like most I work for a living (Corporate America no less), own my own home complete with a dog and a roommate to help out with my mounting bills.

Unlike most, I have a mild to moderate case of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), which although I manage pretty well, at times leaves me not completely understanding my surroundings. Now I could delve into what one might perceive as normal I digress.

Part of living with OCD you tend to like things a certain way. You develop routines, and when said routine is altered, a variety of things could happen.

Of course in all of this I am speaking of me; my personal experiences; my "minor annoyances".

My hopes in all of this is not to vent, complain, or speak ill of my friends, family or those in my life. Rather my hopes in all of this is you find the humor in my idiocy. Yes, idiocy. I also rightfully admit that my "annoyances" most of the time are just ridiculous.

With all of that said, enjoy! To those in my life please know this; nothing I write is meant as a personal attack toward you. Everything posted is meant in good humor and is intended to see the lighter side of things. I hope you all get a good laugh out of this! I welcome your comments and personal pet peeves as well. I will be more than happy to post them if you would like to share.